I just had a rinkey-dink interview for a 2nd (part-time) job at a Juice shop. Yeah, a freakin’ juice shop.
Actually don’t need the 2nd gig; but, I said to myself, “fuck it; do the interview.”
My love for eating and drinking healthy is a passion. I’m not a jumping on the freakin’ new age appropriated in-it-for-a-minute health food fad like today’s urbanite hipster.
Thinking about that shit, I feel like taking a toke from the bowl, but that’s a “No Go” due to my regular job’s random drug testing (plus, Georgia is a non-hemp state, ho-mothafuckin-hum Santa).
Anyway, it’s a sunny 42° degrees in ATL man! A warm 42° at that!
I saw in on a ledge in front of the shops window while she say across at a small white table and a black chair. During our interview, all I could think about was going skateboarding.
My buzz for skateboarding never stopped; it was revitalized.
Interesting enough, the opportunity was presented myriadly like when I was back in California years ago working as an armed security guard at LACMA, or attending junior college or university in SF/LA or when I moved back to fuckin’ Dallas (freakin’ Confederacy heaven, can’t stand that city).
I think the one time it hit me was when I hung out in San Francisco years before I attended university. I was a driving trucks for the first time. I remember watching the skaters at the pier ripping moves.
I approached one of them, but he was reluctant to speak with me. I thought it was because he was a macho asshole (probably, but goes with the territory?)
No, that wasn’t it. He in that place in his body and mind. He was feeling that freakin buzz. I could tell by the fierce look in his eyes with his sweat drenched t-shirt sticking to his skin like velcro.
Yeah, he wanted to hit that move every time he attempts, but faster, quicker, and perfect.
Had this guy been approachable, I would have run to the skate shop, bought a deck, and join them in busting my ass trying to rip moves at the famous pier under San Fran sun.
I miss SF for moments like that.
Man, what a difference a day would make?
Yeah, I know sounds like some Dr. Oz shit!!
The most disturbing notion from all of that is my necessity to be influenced from others; to be brought in for acceptance.
That last statement left a bad taste in my mouth. I have to take a step back and reflect.
Usually, I’m pretty self-assured, I thought. But, What the he’ll has happened?
I never interpreted my confidence to be docile. Yet, I always, always, always gave others the benefit of the doubt. But, I never thought of myself first. I was so selfless, accustom to give people their due respect, humility.
Diluted by my moral eptitude, the lesson learned is the past is the past. I can’t changed or rearrange those events. All I can do is reflect and pursue new ventures.
Thus, when i moved from Texas to Colorado up in Fort Collins.
While living there, i got a chance to refresh my mind, smoke some cannabis, and meditate on things. I saw they had skateboarding parks all around town.
I thought to myself ‘I wasn’t about to waste my time smoking weed all the time when i could hit up the skate park.’
Once I bought a board in Fort Collins, Colorado (of all places), the soul-searching began. Slowly and surely, I started living my life the way I chose.
I have been traveling around from city to city and state to state with my skateboard for the past two years.
Regardless of the ups and downs of cultural clashing, I’m a bit refreshed. I’m living the life much like a Zen lunatic on a Himalayan fringe. Free to explore, inquire, and question life.
My board is like my sword. I can’t live without one.
I could continue to skate for another 10 to 15 years of my life.
Skating is like blazin’ when I hit the parks, streets, sidewalks, parking lots or garages, etc.
I love riding on that board and speeding around corners or through crowds of people or objects. Love that shit.
It never gets old; no matter what age you are.
Finally, I acknowledge my passion for skateboarding, but this unconscious seeking others for vindication is the biggest killjoy know to many men and women. I creates self-doubt, insecurity, and a low-self opinion.
Ladies and gentleman, don’t ever seek others for vindication in recreation. It’s bullshit.
I’m so glad, so glad, that I’m not rekindling my youth. The signs were there. I was acting like an apathetic wuss being “in my feelings” and shit!
But, not having those people around that I use to skate and bullshit with does put a damper on things. However, creating new memories that is a whole other ball game.
The freedom to roam with the wind, listen to road, speak to your heart through expression like this……
It’s my bliss.
Truly, my bliss for skating is like blazin’.
I could sure use a puff of that good weed I use to smoke.
That will have to wait for a little while.